


Of Idiots and Puppies

by gooberAscendant



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/M, Self Deprecaton
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-04
Updated: 2014-06-04
Packaged: 2018-02-03 10:20:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 425
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1741121
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gooberAscendant/pseuds/gooberAscendant
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Fill for prompt: 馬鹿 - Baka: Japanese for idiot.</p>
<p>(HSWC Bonus Round 2)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Of Idiots and Puppies

carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling gardenGnostic [GG]

CG: I CANNOT BELIEVE HOW MUCH OF A COMPLETE AND TOTAL IDIOT I AM.   
CG: MY THINKPAN LITERALLY CANNOT CONTAIN THE VAST AMOUNT OF INFORMATION IT WOULD TAKE TO PROPERLY DEFINE EACH AND EVERY ONE OF MY PATHETIC FAILINGS.   
CG: THE FACT THAT YOU HAVEN’T BLOCKED ME YET WOULD BE A MIRACLE BEYOND ALL REASON IF MIRACLES WERE A THING THAT EXISTED.   
CG: BUT SINCE MIRACLES ARE BULLSHIT AND MADE UP, INSTEAD IT’S JUST AN OBVIOUS LACK OF ANY SORT OF REASONABLE JUDGEMENT ON YOUR PART.   
CG: NOT THAT I THINK YOU DON’T HAVE GOOD JUDGEMENT, BUT IN THIS CASE MY IDIOCY MUST BE OVERRIDING YOUR NORMALLY CAPABLE HUMAN DECISION-MAKING LOBE.   
CG: OR MAYBE YOU JUST HAVEN’T BEEN BACK TO YOUR COMPUTER SINCE I VERBALLY ASSAULTED YOUR FREAKY NEW DOG-LUSUS LIKE A COMPLETE TOOL JUST BECAUSE IT CHEWED ON MY UGLY-ASS SHOES, AND SO YOU HAVEN’T HAD THE CHANCE YET TO BLOCK ME   
CG: BUT THEN YOU ALWAYS CARRY NO LESS THAN FIVE COMPUTERS ON YOUR PERSON AT ALL TIMES, SO MAYBE YOU’VE DECIDED TO TAKE A NAP TO COOL OFF BEFORE BERATING ME FOR MY IDIOTIC ILL-DIRECTED FURY AND THEN NEVER SPEAKING TO ME AGAIN.   
CG: OR YOU HAVE DECIDED TO LET ME TORTURE MYSELF WONDERING WHY I HAVE HEARD NOTHING FROM YOU FOR THE PAST HOUR, CONTENT TO LEAVE ME SHOUTING INTO THE VOID.   
CG: A FITTING PUNISHMENT, I SUPPOSE, FOR SOMEONE AS DEPLORABLE AS MYSELF.   
CG: NO ONE KNOWS AS WELL AS ME HOW TO REALLY GET TO THE BLOODPUSHER OF MY STUPIDITY AND BRING IT TO THE SURFACE LIKE A SEA-FARING LUSUS GASPING FOR BREATH AFTER DIVING FAR TOO DEEP INTO THE INKY BLACK ABYSS.   
CG: IT NEVER THOUGHT IT WOULD SEE THE LIGHT OF DAY AGAIN, BUT HERE IT IS, SEEMINGLY RESCUED BY A PASSING SHIP, ONLY THE SAILORS ARE PREPARING TO HARPOON ITS SORRY ASS FOR ITS PRECIOUS OILS.   
CG: SHIT.   
CG: THAT WAS STUPID.   
CG: I HATE ME FOR COMING UP WITH THAT AWFUL METAPHOR.   
CG: I DIDN’T THINK I COULD HATE MYSELF ANY MORE THAN I ALREADY DID, BUT HERE WE ARE.   
CG: ANYWAYS, I’LL STOP BOTHERING YOU FOREVER NOW.   
CG: I’M SORRY I YELLED AT YOUR NEW PET.   
GG: apology accepted   
CG: WAIT, REALLY?   
CG: JUST LIKE THAT?   
GG: yep!   
GG: i was only waiting for you to actually say you were sorry, dumbass!!   
GG: little halley is fine :)   
GG: just dont yell at him again okay?   
CG: I’LL TRY MY BEST.   
GG: good

gardenGnostic [GG] ceased pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG]


End file.
